I’m beginning to learn that if someone has an issue with something or somebody, it’s not really about that thing or that person, but it’s about them. In life, we truly have control over only one being, and that is our own self. We may try to influence others or mold or shape them into a version of what we think we want, but when it comes down to it, if that is what we are doing, we are missing the point that we need to look in the mirror and find out what it is within our own selves that is at issue.
At first, it’s not an easy thing to look in the mirror. It’s so much easier to try to pin fault on someone or something else, than take responsibility for it yourself. That in itself is the first big swindle. Fault. Why does there have to be fault or blame? What is it about human nature that short-circuits truth and humility for judgment or pride? Judgment and pride assign fault or blame, and these things stem from fear.
The human qualities I want to be known for and remembered by are love, truth, humility, honor, compassion, and integrity. I would like to be able to look in the mirror and see that reflection.
What do I see?
I see a struggle of human frailty. I see my actions fall short of my intentions. My intentions are pure. Truly. From the depth of my heart and soul. But walking the talk, now that is a different story. The words that I find to express my self are not always heard as intended, and the ability to choose the right words is an art that is yet to be mastered. So much vigilance is needed. So much care. There is such a responsibility with words. They carry so much.
I see a person easily disarmed. Disarmed by judgment. Disarmed by pride.
She needs to be so much more vigilant. See the forest and the trees. Evaluate all words, not just hers but those directed at her, for their source. Measure them against the standard of love, truth, humility, honor, compassion, and integrity. Do they hold up? From whence do they spring?
With such a measure, she is armed, not disarmed. And after the measure, what should she do? Do her own words stem from love, truth, humility, honor, compassion and integrity? If not, she can change. She should change. If so, she should stand her ground.
In all fairness to myself, I see strength as well. Yes, a struggle of human frailty, but also some triumph of human strength. I may shed tears at inopportune moments, or cry myself to sleep at times. But I am strong. Very strong. Because I am wide open. Open for love. Which leaves me vulnerable. Unprotected. It takes a certain strength and courage to be so. I embrace the love, and face the rest.
What do I want?
I want to understand and be understood, to love and be loved, to cherish and be cherished, to hear and be heard, to treasure and be treasured, to delight and be delighted in.
Do I want this for or from one person or all people in my life sphere? Certainly, from me outward, I want this for all. To understand my people, to love my people, to cherish my people, to hear my people, to treasure my people, to delight in my people.
And inward? Who do I want to understand me, love me, cherish me, hear me, treasure me, and delight in me? Well, everyone, of course. Is that realistic?
All I know is that I can do my part. My part is to love, try to understand, cherish, try to hear, treasure, and delight. I can do my part. It’s fundamental flow. Give and you shall receive. Do unto others as you’d have done unto you.
Do I feel alone? Sometimes. But that means only that I’m not paying close enough attention, and not seeing the forest for the trees.
Is there a difference between men and women? There are differences, yes, but I think these things are about the human heart and transcend gender. I think that if people get back to the basics of humility and love, then anything is possible.
