I am now officially traumatized. It isn’t enough that my diet consists mainly of salad these days. No, let’s step things up just a wee bit, shall we, and add a little live protein.
NO THANK YOU.
There I was, chomping merrily away on my bowl of mixed greens. Earthbound Farms organic spinach tossed with their organic greens mix, all pre-washed and ready to serve, mixed with chopped romaine that I carefully chopped, washed, rinsed, spun and inspected. Because I do this. I inspect my food. Top it off with a handful of grape tomatoes, some chicken pieces, and a little ranch dressing, and I was good to go.
Imagine my horror when, as I’m tossing the mixture together, distributing the dressing, getting ready to take a big satisfying bite, I spy something resembling bug legs in the mix. Only to discover, with even more shock and horror, that it’s a wasp, and it’s alive. A WASP, people. In my salad. Where in the hell did it come from? How long has it been hanging out in the salad container? In which one? Could there be more? The Offender is now drowning in the kitchen sink, because I am Sueeeus, Cruel Murderer of Salad Wasps.
I am distressed. Now how am I supposed to eat salad any more. It will take ages for me to get past the need to inspect every single leaf. Ages. It took years for me to overcome the obsession of inspecting every piece of broccoli, looking for worms. Let me say, I have found far too many in my time.
I must say, my dear son was quite valiant. “Are you okay?” He kept asking me, with genuine concern. He’s very sweet that way. Of course, my heart was still pounding at the discovery, and now I’m going to have to think of other carb-friendly things to eat.
Driven to cursing. Imagine it. I simply must vent it here. I’m trying to ignore the sounds of paper tearing and clanking metal that I hear in the background. I should know better than to vent on a blog, if only for a few moments, because much, MUCH can be accomplished by a particularly busy toddler in those few moments.
And no, I don’t feel better. There was still a wasp in my salad. And very nearly in my mouth. Ewwww. I am only interested in Survivor as a spectator sport. Eating live bugs? No thanks.
