I had my first post-diabetes-diagnosis follow up appointment yesterday. I was doing a great job of glucose control while I was pregnant, and I wasn’t even taking the Metformin. After the miscarriage, I restarted the Metformin, but the numbers have been climbing. Granted, I was depressed for a few weeks and wasn’t so careful with my diet. It’s remarkable, the way stress and anxiety affect blood sugar. I’m on the lowest dose of Metformin, and wondered if I might need a little bit more, but she’s not changing the dose for now. She once again recommended a program like Weight Watchers. The reason being that people with addictive tendencies do well in controlling them by attending meetings, like AA or NA, or, in my case, since alcohol and narcotics aren’t my thing, WW. I’ve done WW in a past life. I am not a meetings kind of a person. I can’t do it. I won’t do it. It doesn’t help me. I can’t really explain it. It’s sort of why I don’t go to church, either. I am a solo person. Groups don’t work for me. Anyhow, better weight control will definitely improve the glucose control, so all these things are related.
Then she recommended therapy. I’m not comfortable with the idea of therapy, and I couldn’t very well explain why. I don’t like groups and I don’t like the idea of saying things to a complete stranger that are basically petty, selfish, or both; things that I should be able to deal with on my own. She noted several reasons. So I could grow as a person and get beyond the discomfort of groups. So I could work through the body image. So I could work through the anxiety and stress and grief from trying to conceive and suffering two miscarriages in one year. Is she in cahoots with my ob-gyn? They do share an office. And my medical records. My file is two inches thick.
My blog is my therapy. That and a good cry once in a while.
Which brought her back to the topic of mood stabilization. I had told her that I was okay now; not depressed. But I’ve been wondering lately if I really have been, in my basic state, depressed all along. I told her that I had decided that after I was done with the baby thing that I might consider trying something like Wellbutrin, but I don’t want to go on anything while I am still trying to conceive. I’ve read about weight gain associated with antidepressants mood stabilizers, so I’m very wary. Wellbutrin is one that actually might have the opposite effect, so I asked about it. Wellbutrin would be very low on the list of potential stabilizers that we would recommend. (It’s Category C.) Note the terminology. Stabilizer, not antidepressant. Prozac? No way. I did try that once, ten years ago or so, and couldn’t make it through the first two weeks. I felt like I had a brain cloud or a delay and that I didn’t have immediate control of my mind. (That’s the point, isn’t it? I suppose…. but I didn’t like it.) She said that I might do well with Zoloft, and it’s something that could be taken while trying to conceive, because reduced anxiety improves one’s chances. If I did conceive, we could discuss tapering it off at some point during the pregnancy.
So. Zoloft it is. I picked up the prescription and read that it is used to treat OCD, post-traumatic stress disorder, and social anxiety. Well. Maybe it is the thing for me. Just what the doctor ordered.
Side Effects: Nausea, dizziness, dry mouth, loss of appetite, increased sweating, drowsiness, diarrhea, trouble sleeping.
The pharmacist recommended taking it at night, due to the somnolence factor. Oh. And that it would take 4-6 weeks before I noticed any benefits. As if I’m going to make it past 2 weeks. Fine. So this is day 1. I didn’t sleep well, and had no appetite this morning. (A good thing!) But along with that, nausea. And, ugh. Diarrhea. At least now I can stop taking the Colace for constipation. Hunger briefly overrode nausea, and with it, dizziness. I assumed my blood sugar had dropped, but no. It’s higher than 3 hours ago, which means my liver probably pumped out some extra sugar to make up for the food that I didn’t eat. And the dizziness is likely the Zoloft, not the glucose. Now, after some toast, the hunger is gone, the nausea is back, and the dizziness persists.
But there is no brain cloud, so I can live with this. For now.
