sueeeus

I decided to try out a new blogging utility called WordPress, so I loaded it to a webserver and spent some time this weekend installing and configuring it. I like its features, and it’s free. It’s not been the easiest thing to configure, but that’s mostly because I did a custom install on my own webspace. There are low cost providers out there who offer WordPress blogging and they’ve done all the hard stuff so it’s easy for a newbie to get started. I had to do things the hard way, though, because that’s just my way.

Anyway.

Here’s my new blog.

http://sueeeus.holyshiznit.com/

I will eventually move my blogger archives over there, but that is thus far proving to be difficult.

My name is sueeeus.

I am…

…a loving mother to a beautiful boy, sometimes exasperated wife to a sometimes exasperating husband, sister to many, friend to some.

100 things about me, in no particular order…

1. I am a half breed.
2. I have six brothers.
3. I have two sisters.
4. I am the oldest girl.
5. I am second of nine.
6. Just before I started Jr. High, I moved to a rural town and our well ran dry. The only water we had was dark dark dark silty putrid orange. Our pipes froze every winter, too, so we didn’t even have access to the orange water for months. We hauled drinking water from town in 5 gallon jugs and sometimes melted snow to wash dishes and take sponge baths. It was so embarrassing for a teenage girl. After I left home and went to college, my parents were able to afford to have a new well drilled. Crystal clear delicious water.
7. I have a degree in Electrical Engineering.
8. I graduated ‘Cum Laude’.
9. I’m quite certain I would have done much much better had I not convinced myself that it was much harder than it was.
10. I only chose engineering because that major had the best hiring stats at the time.
11. I minored in Computer Science because I liked computers/computing/programming.
12. I used to think that CS was for people who weren’t smart enough for engineering. You know… idiots. So I didn’t take it very seriously, and I didn’t go work for Microsoft in the 80s because it was beneath me. See who’s the idiot (me) and see who’s basking in their cashed in stock options (not me).
13. I am sometimes a snob (see 12).
14. I love broccoli.
15. I can’t stand the taste, texture, or smell of most squash.
16. I’m deathly afraid of and disgusted by stink bugs.
17. I love gadgets. Especially kitchen gadgets.
18. I love tools, so I don’t give my husband too much trouble when he buys tools, because secretly I plan to take advantage of his stash some day.
19. I met my husband on the internet (match.com) in December of 2001.
20. I’m embarrassed to tell people how we met.
21. We’ve lived together since the day we met in person, three days later.
22. I’m embarrassed to tell people we’ve lived together since the day we met in person.
23. We got engaged ten days later.
24. He proposed via email.
25. I’m embarrassed to tell people how he proposed.
26. We got married 01 April 2003. I chose April Fool’s day so I’d always remember our anniversary.
27. I love my husband.
28. I love him even more, now that we have a baby.
29. I take most things way too seriously.
30. When I was in second grade, some of the boys called me fat.
31. I wasn’t very fat at all. I had a little bit of a blubber belly, is all.
32. More than 30 years later, one of those boys works down the hall from me, in a giant company that is located over 350 miles from where we went to grade school. I don’t consider him my arch-enemy any more.
33. I am ‘morbidly obese’ by the text book standards.
34. I don’t think I am morbidly obese.
35. I used to be ‘drop dead gorgeous’ (according to a few people, myself not included).
36. When I was a teenager and obsessed with the size of my waist, I told my sister that her waist would never be smaller than mine. (Teenagers can be so cruel.)
37. I now weigh twice as much as my sister.
38. I didn’t get a car until after I graduated from college.
39. I’ve always wanted to have children. Two boys and a girl.
40. I’m 40.
41. I don’t ovulate (much).
42. I got pregnant the first month that I started fertility treatment.
43. I miscarried my twins on my 38th birthday.
44. I took a break from fertility treatments (gave up) and started taking classes for foster parenting certification with the option for adoption.
45. I had to plow through alot of HMO bureaucracy before I started fertility treatments again. When I finally got the authorization to proceed, I took a precautionary pregnancy test. It was positive.
46. I believe in miracles.
47. I’ve had a life prayer that I’ve prayed for most of my life, to become a mother before I’m 40. (I know not to bargain with God, and impose time limits, but I did it just the same.)
48. I gave birth to a beautiful healthy boy 2 months and 2 weeks before I turned 40.
49. I believe what the bible says about the holy spirit.
50. I believe the bible is God’s word.
51. I don’t go to church.
52. I love to sing.
53. I don’t sing very well, but sometimes it seems like I do.
54. I think Bono is my soul-brother.
55. I love alot of music by the Who, the Moody Blues, and Pink Floyd.
56. I loathe the marijuana culture.
57. I was involved in long-term (non-consecutive) relationships with not one, but two, marijuana addicts.
58. Almost every boyfriend I’ve ever had was a drummer.
59. I freaked out when my husband expressed interest in playing the drums.
60. I used to be in love with Barry Manilow.
61. And Johnny from Emergency 1.
62. And Luke Skywalker. In fact, I used to daydream that I had a horrible life threatening disease like leukemia, and he (Mark Hamill) would be moved by that, come to my bedside, and fall deeply in love with me. Such drama. Acccckkkk, how embarrassing to admit that, and even to have ever thought such a thing! AAcccccckkkkk!!!!
63. Shortly thereafter, I switched my infatuation to Harrison Ford, who remained hot until the Calista Flockhart mid-life crisis incident.
64. I think Ed Harris is hot. My husband never lets that one rest; he is very amused by it.
65. I don’t like blondes. (Not that I don’t like them, but given the preference, and if I were that superficial, I’d choose a dark-haired man over a blonde.)
66. I married a blonde man.
67. I have a blonde baby. So I LOVE blondes!! He is so beautiful.
68. I like to design and make things. All kinds of things. Like fountains, furniture, toys, costumes, gadgets, gizmos, web sites.
69. I don’t actually complete many of said designs/projects.
70. I like to paint.
71. I like to write.
72. I like to go outside in a torrential downpour and turn my face toward the sky.
73. I’m a leather snob. It doesn’t have to be name brand, but it has to have just the right weight, texture, sheen, etc. for its given application.
74. I love hot hot hot spicy food.
75. I want to write a book some day. And have it be a bestseller.
76. I’m designing my next home, which I plan to participate heavily in the construction thereof.
77. I want to start my own business and have it be wildly successful.
78. I love TV shows and films. They calm me down because I get too stressed out over too many things.
79. I get too stressed out over too many things.
80. I cry during tv shows and movies when sad things happen.
81. Especially the news. I don’t like to watch the news. I don’t like to see people’s babies washed away by tsunamis and hurricanes and such.
82. I intentionally ate half a piece of spice cake laced with hashish in Amsterdam, for the ‘full Amsterdam experience’ and also in retaliation to my then-boyfriend’s accusations of my hypocrisy for passing judgement against the recreational use of mind altering substances when I’d never walked a mile in those shoes, so to speak.
83. I’ll never do that again, and my opinion about mind-altering substance use remains intact. But the blue spaghetti that I had for supper that evening was the best ever. I don’t remember what turned it blue, but it had nothing to do with the hash. Honestly.
84. On a camping trip once, in a beautiful forest by a crystal clear stream, I danced naked in the pouring rain by a blazing bonfire in the middle of the night with my face lifted up to heaven. It was bliss. Later the rain stopped and the stars came out. It was magical.
85. I climbed a mountain (a small one) once.
86. I’ve seen signs and wonders when I was paying attention.
87. I sang an Ode to Joy in the tongue of angels, standing alone under a marbled dome in the cemetary where Beethoven is buried (Vienna). It was ethereal.
88. I don’t know anything about wine, but I love cabernet sauvignon, pinot noir, and merlot.
89. I’m a coffee and tea snob. Not by name brand, but the flavor, smoothness, color, etc. are of utmost importance to me. Rich and smooth, not bitter. I’m very particular that way.
90. With regard to cars and things mechanical. I used to change my own oil. I even changed out a starter. Twice.
91. My name is on a patent as a co-inventor. (Not because of my own initiative, but my lead began the submission process on a project which he, I, and one other person worked together on.)
92. It made the top ten inventions list that year. At the award ceremony, the vice-president, not knowing me from Jack, introduced me as Mister Squished Piggy. I was the only woman honored at that event.
93. I secretly enjoyed the smug feeling I experienced when his face turned beet red as he realized his faux pas.
94. I don’t like wastefulness.
95. I am very frugal. Most of the time. Except when I buy my husband things like a hot tub, a new truck, and an obscene big screen tv*. Call me sugar mama. Why is it that I can put out thousands of ‘crazy dollahs’ for something he wants with barely a blink of the eye, but I’ll interrogate him if he wants to order something that’s not on the dollar menu if we go through the McDonald’s drive thru And I’ll hmm and haw about buying myself anything, and research it to death, then feel guilty if I buy it, especially if it costs more than twenty bucks. What is wrong with me Puh-leeeeeeeze. *Okay. Those are all one time deals. Hot tub in lieu of honeymoon, which I regret getting, as I realize that I don’t like hottubs… Why Standing water, stagnating, all manner of who knows what lurking, growing in it. Sure, there are chemicals and treatments, but it’s still the same water. Ewwwwww. Not to mention the whole getting wet thing. Sometimes I don’t feel like getting wet. Hard to explain. The rest All part of my master plan to build the dream home in the state of my youth. He gets his wish list. I get mine. It’s all fair.
96. I recycle.
97. I compost.
98. I love books. The look, the smell, the feel. Hardbound is best. Leather hardbound is bestest.
99. I have the complete Oxford English Dictionary, 12 volumes plus supplement, first edition, second printing.
100. I like disco. (Who ever admits to that one !) It’s fun!!

Exploration of Identity
Obscure. Hidden. Concealed. Covered. Camouflaged. Protected. Inconspicuous. Undiscovered. Unnoticed. Unobtrusive. Sheltered.

Is today Friday I’ve lost track. The theme is Something Special.

These stories brought hope and light to the mind of a very young girl, who, until reading them, felt alone in the world where nobody, not even her parents, knew her, or cared to know her. These magical stories of love and light and the battle between good and evil filled her mind with wonder and planted seeds of self-worth. These stories changed her life.

Many years later, this girl learned that another young girl, who recently lost her father, loves these stories. This book will be lovingly and beautifully wrapped, placed in the post and sent to a faraway place, so it will be something magical for a dear and special child to open for Christmas.

Exploration of Identity

There have been better days

Red. I love red. Any time. All the time. There is much red in my world.

1. A perfume bottle. My prized possession. Art glass. Which I love.
2. A crystal bud vase. A gift my dad gave to my mom then took back for ‘safe keeping’. She later gave it to me. I’ve always loved it, regardless of its twisted past.
3. Art. My departed brother’s daughter, one of the apples of my eye. Oil pastels on artboard.
4. In case I ever go too fast on the treadmill. Not likely to happen. Ever.
5. Purchased by the super-case.
6. The gem of the kitchen.
7. Bought to brighten the room the day after my brother died. Now withered and dead.
8. The love of my life.
9. A watercolor print from a local artist.
10. Mini-diaper bag.
11. Candles on a bookshelf.
12. A gift from my honey.

Theme: Exploration of Identity

This series is from my big European adventure, mid-September through mid-November 1994, which was in itself quite an exploration of identity. My college roommate and I reunited to spend two months on a whirlwind Europe Through the Back Door tour, from Ireland to Greece and many places in between.

“Disciple Scholar Nymph Thinker Victor Irresistible Feral Bad Ass Rejoicing Cloaked Traveler”

O migraine, how I loathe thee
Thou vexation of cranial orb
Thy thund’ring rage woulds’t pummel
Yea verily torment
Even unto the spewing forth
Harken yonder, ‘tis sweet relief
B’neath veil of darkness still
With temper’d potion of ibuprofen
Yea, milligrams of one hundred times eight
And undulations, of rhythm most merciful
O King Kong, thou magnificent throne
I am at thy mercy
Thrice times the quarter hour
Thou hast brought me refuge
O soothing nectar of yon delicate leaf
Such comfort thou dost bring
O Ibuprofen! O King Kong! O Green Tea!
Thou art my truest friends indeed

But wait! There’s more! Okay, so the drinking receptacle also depends upon the particular beverage. If we’re talking about green tea, for instance, then this is my favorite cup. I found a pair at a thrift store years ago, and last week or the week before (everything happened last week, and the week before) I was emptying the dishwasher and dropped something on one of them and cracked it. WOE IS ME.

What pleases me about this cup, you might wonder Well. I’ll tell you. First, its shape. It is somewhat square (like me) and somewhat round (like me) and somewhat stout (like me). Next, it’s design. It is somewhat Asian (like me). And somewhat delicate (like me), yet somewhat rustic (like me). And, prior to the slippery dishwasher emptying incident, it was somewhat sturdy (like me).

Now it is somewhat broken (like me).

I like Blackbird’s Show and Tell game. This week I had the honor of choosing the theme – Favorite Cup or Mug. I’ve been on a quest for the perfect cup for quite some time, and I’m looking forward to oohing and ahhing and being jealous of other people’s fine beverage-ware.

If I weren’t so particular, finding a good cup wouldn’t be an issue. However. Sort of like Goldilocks, things need to be just right, or I’m not quite satisfied.

Currently, this is the closest I’ve come. I discovered it last week, at Pier 1. But it’s still not quite there. I love the cobalt blue. I have tons of cobalt blue dishes – food looks so nice when presented with this color. Bright green broccoli, orange carrots, multi-colored peppers… So lovely! So. Cobalt is one of my favorite consumption receptacle colors. I was therefore delighted to find this cup. And even more delighted that it was 20% off. I like the ribbon handle. This is a very nice ergonomic grip. I can fit all four fingers through the handle and wrap them snugly and comfortingly around the cup, or I can wrap all four nicely around the handle itself. Both good qualities. It is made of porcelain, which has a nice sturdy weight and feel without being thick and clunky.

I especially like the swirling leaves. The cobalt glaze is raised above the white floral design, so it has a pleasing texture as well. The only thing that is not quite right about this cup is the volume. It’s a bit much for me. It stands too tall for my Senseo coffee maker (but that may not matter too much, as I have several issues with that particular coffee machine, and its days may be numbered). Beverages lose their heat before they can be fully enjoyed. This happens with small cups as well, though, as I tend to take my sweet time and a cup of something soothing usually lasts an hour or two.
I bought four, and am contemplating going back for another four. I might, after all, entertain, one day, in the odd chance that I make some (local*) friends and invite them over. It’s also possible that more than two family members at a time might actually visit, in which case it would be nice to serve coffee or tea in matching mugs. The sale is on for a few more days. I will give it some more thought.

*My best friends are hundreds, even thousands, of miles away.