sueeeus

Isn’t the heavenly bamboo heavenly I think it’s so pretty, and now that it’s peeking out from a snow drift, even more so.

It snowed a little the other night, and it was just the right amount. The roads were clear and the snow was nicely decorative. Today is another story. The heavens have opened up and dumped their contents on the suburbs. Driving is treacherous. Mr. Gadget took the Boo Boy to daycare, which is only 3 miles away, and it took him 3 hours, with 4-wheel drive AND chains. I opted to work from home today. It’s nice to have the option. Now that MG has made it home, we’re thinking we should have just kept Boo home. And today is supposed to be my first prenatal appointment. I’m not sure if the doctor is even in.

The snow capped tree outside our front door is festive, but the ornaments are hardly visible under their coat of snow. I love the way the night time colors turned out in the picture of the ornaments. By day, they look entirely different. The multicolored lights and a little photo processing made it so gorgeous!

These are the best pictures, though! My little guy loves to wear my shoes! He is so proud of himself when he puts them on and stomps about. He’s learning to put his coat on as well, but he hasn’t quite gotten the hang of it. In this picture, he is just about to jump. He loves to jump! He has such great balance and dexterity. He jumps and shrieks with glee. There’s nothing like the boisterous unbridled joy of a child. It’s contagious. The best!

This is classic. I love it. A little boy with crayons scattered everywhere, intent upon his art. He switches between left and right hands, but seems to prefer his right. He is very serious about his colors, he is.

It astounds me, the way a ray of sun bursting through the clouds, illuminating the trees in their fall splendor, can make my heart soar and make me feel so alive.  The last two months I’ve found myself gloomy more often than not, and every once in a while I get a rush of energy when the sun breaks through the clouds.  It’s sad.  I’m sad.  Off and on.  They call it SAD, anyway.  Whoever they are.  Seasonal Affective Disorder.  Google will return a plethora of information on the subject, if one were interested enough to bother.  Basically, I am fickle, like the weather.  It has been an emotionally difficult time for me, what with memories and associations, and certain recent events.  The daily weather forecast lately calls for rain, heavy winds, and flood warnings, more often than not.  And those bursts of sun   They have a name.  Sunbreaks.  They call them sunbreaks, here in the Northwest.  A break from the normal dismal gloomy grey. 

How fabulous to enjoy a sunbreak, while walking amidst a carpet of fallen leaves, hoping and dreaming of things to come.  It’s been a week since the discovery, and I’m trying very hard not to overthink things and get too worked up about the what ifs.  So far, so good, as far as I know.  People are so kind.  There have been so many kind, warm, thoughtful and loving comments and I appreciate each and every one.  It means so much that all over the world there are fine people with loving hearts who are sending their light to the little one growing inside of me.  We are blessed.  We thank you all.

Fragments from Stockton Gala Days and Gold Rush Brides waft through my mind as I find myself distracted by the yearning for simplicity, for self-sufficiency, for joying in the fruits of my labor; a more meaningful existence.

that summer fields grew high
with foxglove stalks and ivy
wild apple blossoms everywhere

From whence, such yearnings To dine from the bounty of my garden. To work with my hands. To craft. To be an artisan of any kind. To live off the fat of the land.

who were the homestead wives
who were the gold rush brides
does anybody know
do their works survive their yellow fever lives in the pages they wrote

Such a dreamer. I have yet to grow a garden. The smallest attempts I’ve made have been discouraging. Aphids and slugs. How does one grow luscious foods, sans pests I am storing inspirational links and tips on my sidebar, for future reference.

Methinks such ramblings begin in part with a troublesome commute. When the sky opens up and the rains return, though welcome, the yang to the yin is the reaction of everyday people out there, congesting the roads, trying to wield their superiority over the elements, thinking that somehow they don’t need to adjust their speed or maneuvering techniques to compensate for the weather. Times like these I long to remain home. To make my living by staying put. Let the busy world pass on by. I want to slow down. Pioneer heritage stirs within me, past generations of yankee ingenuity pull at my heartstrings, urging me to follow, to return home.

come back to me with all your heart
don’t let fear keep us apart
trees do bend, though straight and tall
so must we to others call

long have I waited for your
coming home to me
and living, deeply, our new life

the wilderness will lead you
to your heart, where I will speak
integrity and justice, with tenderness
you shall know

you shall sleep, secure with peace
faithfulness will be your joy

And then I understand. Melodies that captured my heart, from the earliest and finest memories of days gone by. These are words that formed me, that knit together with my heart and soul to form the fabric of my being. Who I am.

credits: Hosea, Come Back To Me, Gregory Norbet, OSB (Order of Saint Benedict); Stockton Gala Days, Gold Rush Brides, from Our Time in Eden, 10,000 Maniacs

Much as I find the sight of falling snow, especially huge fluffy snowflakes, a beautiful sight to behold, I also find myself filled with dread. My chest constricts, my breathing becomes shallow, and I am filled with anxiety.There are so many steep hills where I live, and maneuvering in freezing conditions is difficult, to say the least. I must be off to collect my boy, before the temperature drops further, making the journey even more treacherous. Driving on ice terrifies me.