My boys. They fill me up. LB will be 6 months old on Friday! He had his first solid food yesterday, and he LOVED it! He was so excited to put the spoon in his mouth and swirl his tongue around the rice cereal. He hasn’t figured out the swallowing bit yet. So far he’s a bit tongue tangled and the food comes right back out, but he’s very much IN to it! He’ll have it down in no time, and may turn into a chubby baby yet. BB is all boy and then some. A bull in a china shop is the best metaphor for him these days.
When I leave them at daycare, LB now breaks my heart by going into a woeful, the most woeful, of cries. It rips me to shreds and what can I do? I hug him and snuggle him and try to distract him, and feel awful as I make my way back to my car. It affects me so much because it’s a special cry reserved just for moments like those. It’s the hurt feelings cry. He only uses it when I walk out of a room and he thinks I’m leaving him. It’s different from every other cry he has. I don’t like to hurt his feelings.
BB, on the other hand, has a full production he goes through when we say goodbye. He gives me one or two kisses on the cheek, and then he blows a raspberry on my face somewhere. He tries for the nose, but I usually can avert and just give him the cheek. We hug and say ‘have a happy day’. I leave through the sliding glass door, then he opens it for his parting words. G’bye… ‘Ak sure to whook and get some whest (so you won’t be a cwabby apple) and ‘ak sure to pummmmmmmp. I wuvvvv you…..
Every. Single. Time. It’s endearing. I’ve worked with him and showed him how to make the ‘l’ sound, and he can do it, but he always switches back to the ‘w’ when speaking. Habit. I’ll have to work with him more. He’s also become quite good at drawing. All on his own. I’m so pleased. So much so that I decided it was time to give him the special drawing books I’d gotten for him earlier, and set aside until I thought he was ready. I opened one, the tracing book, and flipped through the pages, and every single activity had been completed already. And then I vaguely remembered the stepkids going in and out of my office, before I asked them not to. So… One or both of them (TEENAGERS, for crying out loud) took the preschool activity books and did all the activities. Grrrrrrrrr. At least BB is a bright and cheerful 4 year old, and he was happy and excited to get a new book to draw in, even if someone else had already drawn in it. Those stepkids though…
BB made it through his 2 weeks of movie restrictions with almost no whining or begging, so I’m quite pleased with that as well. I let him watch a kid movie on the portable dvd player in the same room where the rest of us were watching TV. My new rule – no watching movies alone. Mean mama. He’s a very independent and head strong child with the misfortune of having couch potato parents. How I wish Gadget had some interest in being active. He doesn’t like to go for walks. Nearly the only outdoor play he likes is when there are motors involved, or gear and expenses like skiing and golfing. He does like to ride bikes, so I’m going to start pressuring him to work with BB to learn to ride so that we can all go bike riding. I don’t want my boys growing up thinking the only fun things to do are things that cost money and require gadgets, gear, or gizmos. Thank God BB likes sticks and stones… …now THAT’s my boy! I’m going to enroll him in T-ball and soccer, when the seasons begin. Soccer is in the fall, and T-ball is in the spring or summer.
As for me? I’ve lost some of my oomph for blogging and facebook. I spend hours at the computer each day, and I could be posting, but I just haven’t felt like it. Instead, I play mind drifting games like spider solitaire, and listen to the whoosh whoosh whoosh of my pump. I’m trying to come to terms with the life that I lead. So often I find myself feeling like things need to change, and wonder why I can never seem to reach that place called content. My home, my body, my marriage, my mothering. All fall short of my expectations. The only aspect of my life in which I feel content is my work. I wonder why that is.
