April 14th, 2010

Words of wisdom uttered by my mother. I don’t remember the context of those words, or why she’d use them, but she used them enough for me to associate them with her, even though it is a quite common phrase.

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I am ultra sensitive. I always have been. I am happiest when those around me are happy. Like a chameleon, I reflect the moods of those I am near. It’s not necessarily a good thing. I’m empathetic. It can be a good thing, but it’s not always constructive. It could be constructive if I would remain vigilant and understand but not react to the emotions around me. But often, I’m not vigilant, and when that happens, then it doesn’t serve me (or anyone) well at all. My own fault.

It would serve me better to be a beacon. A light shining brightly, impervious to its surroundings. I have light within me. A fantastic light. I should let it shine brightly. As the children’s song goes. Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

In so doing, I might just shield myself from the misperception of words and emotions wielded by those around me. And for the onslaught of words and emotions that are deliberate and not misperceived, I can just consider the source, and keep on shining.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 14th, 2010 at 12:28 PM and is filed under me, mental health. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

5 Responses to “consider the source”

aunty evil Says:

I hear ya. I am a sponge for every emotion, worry or thought that is in the room with me.

People tell me their problems. I don’t know why, I must have that kind of face.

But they kill me with their problems. I worry about them, and try to find solutions. I search for a solution, long after they have moved on. I often get “ohhh thanks you are sweet, but I fixed that ages ago”.

Like you, I need to learn to switch off the absorbtion levels.

Stomper Girl Says:

Me three, the empathy thing. And my firstborn, oh I feel for him, feeling for everyone else!

Listen. I think you are a beacon. Also. I think you have just come out of a crappy relationship and that will take time to heal. And possibly this is the same for Skills? So some days I guess you pick off the scab and slow down the healing process, other days you remember the soothing ointment and to leave it be. But don’t beat yourselves up for this, I think it’s natural and inevitable. Good luck!

aunty evil Says:

She’s smart, that Stomper.

You should listen to her.

sueeeus Says:

Oh you ladies. You are beacons shining brightly in MY sphere, and I thank you so.

suse Says:

Why does Bloglines take 3 days to tell me you’ve posted? I’m getting sick of that.

Shine on, and let your brilliance and luminosity out to the world! (I trust that it’s Gadget being a shit, and not the new bloke?)