sueeeus

River, river carry me on
Living river carry me on
River, river carry me on
To the place where I come from

So deep, so wide, will you take me on your back for a ride
If I should fall, would you swallow me deep inside

River, show me how to float
I feel like I’m sinking down
Thought that I could get along
But here in this water
My feet won’t touch the ground
I need something to turn myself around

Going away, away towards the sea
River deep, can you lift up and carry me
Oh roll on though the heartland
‘Til the sun has left the sky
River, river carry me high
‘Til the washing of the water make it all alright
Let your waters reach me like she reached me tonight

Letting go, it’s so hard
The way it’s hurting now
To get this love untied
So tough to stay with this thing
‘Cause if I follow through
I face what I denied
I get those hooks out of me
And I take out the hooks that I sunk deep in your side
Kill that fear of emptiness, loneliness I hide

River, oh river, river running deep
Bring me something that will let me get to sleep
In the washing of the water will you take it all away
Bring me something to take this pain away

(Peter Gabriel – Washing of the Water)

I let him go.  Sent him back to the river.  I think he’s hurting.  I’m hurting.  But I didn’t know what else to do.  I don’t know how to balance life any more.  I don’t know up from down or left from right.  I don’t know how to blend lives.

I told him it was beautiful while it was beautiful, and that I’ll forever treasure that.  And I truly mean it.  I hope he knows that.

Maybe I will find myself again.

I want to.

I need to.