The stepchildren have arrived. Gadget didn’t get to see them at all last year, due to irresponsible and inconsiderate scheduling on his ex’es part. They are here for a month and a half this time. He reports that their living conditions are similar to those of my own youth, a squalid shack in the middle of nowhere. It’s hard to fathom why his ex left him for a crotchety man eleven years her senior. If he had wealth, charm, or some other redeeming qualities, I might understand, but the only thing I can see (and I’m being objective!) is that he’s not Gadget. Apparently that was enough.
It’s sad to see the kids raised in an environment in which he has absolutely no influence. The step-dad is out of work, hobbling around recovering from having an ingrown toenail removed, and the mother has never worked. From what Gadget can see, they live on the child support that he sends for his daughter, and welfare and social services. They were receiving social security payments for the step-son that had something to do with his having leukemia as an infant. I’m not sure how that works, but he’s 19 now, graduated from high school, and about to face the future, so for some reason, the social security payments stopped, which means that much less for them to live on.
While we were dirt poor, we never used welfare and social services, and my dad went to work every single day, regardless of health. He was an emotional tyrant (and sometimes physical), but he had a good work ethic. Our house was a pigsty, but we had a band of nine wild ones and a harried and frazzled mother who tried her best to keep food on the table and clean clothes on our backs. If she’d had more energy and perhaps some parenting assistance from my dad, we might have been made to contribute with housework and chores. One thing is for certain. Each and every one of us counted the days until we could be out of that house and on our own. I left the very day after I graduated high school. I was 17.
So these two children are being raised by a mother who doesn’t and won’t work, and a step-dad who works sporadically. They don’t clean their house. Gadget wouldn’t even use their bathroom while there. Dirty dishes are everywhere and stacks of junk are everywhere else. When not in school, they watch TV, movies, or play video games, all day, every day. Or they go shopping. (??? I’m not even going to get into that…)
Neither know how to swim. The daughter is going into high school next term and doesn’t yet know how to ride a bike. When here two years ago, she loved to read and had a little spark. Now she hates to read, and she’s all huddled into herself. She mumbles incomprehensibly if she does speak, or she just doesn’t respond when spoken to. Occasionally, she’ll nod her head yes or no. She’s got extreme pronation in which she practically walks on her ankles, and now one leg is visibly longer than the other. We tried to get her to take interest in trying to correct her walk, the last time she was here, to no avail, and now the problem is much worse, and she claims not to care at all. She’s setting herself up for a future of chronic pain. We’re going to try to get her to at least wear specialty insoles. She snubs any reasonable shoes. Gadget is very angry that his ex doesn’t try harder to help her correct this.
Enter Sueeeus, the wicked step-mother. Sueeeus has rules. Every day there is a chore to do, and it must be done before any game-playing or TV/DVD watching. Work first. Then reward. And Sueeeus sets limits. Only one movie per day. Only one hour of video game playing per day. Only one hour of TV per day. (That’s three hours of leisure trash time, but one would think it was cruelty to the utmost extreme.) Oh, that Sueeeus, she is so wicked.
These kids are not prepared for life in the real world. The boy is very soon, as in several weeks, going to be out there. At least he has some enthusiasm, and although he has very limited vision and ambition, I think he will be able to make a way for himself. I hope.
The girl has no ambition. No interests. No spark. Nothing.
It breaks Gadget’s heart, and mine, and makes us both angry and frustrated.
***
A few days have passed, and thankfully, the girl is opening up a bit. They’re not grumbling TOO badly about their chores, although, in the long run, I may wonder if the price is or was worth it.
So far, we’ve nearly lost our freezer after being left ajar a night. Gadget worked all his magic on it, to no seeming avail, but it kicked back into operation after a full day and two nights. Phew. Such a sad and shameful waste of good food, though. That was just a sloppy oversight, not a chore.
Yesterday I assigned weeding. One might think it would be common sense that things IN planter boxes were meant to be there, and things outside of containers were not. One would think. Gone is my lavender and my dwarf bamboo. Present are dandelions, bindweed, and thistles. Today I reassigned weeding. They’re on their second round, having failed the first inspection. I’m not sure what they pulled this time, but the dandelions remain. There may be hope for my lavender and bamboo, because I noticed that they were just pulling tops, and not pulling out the roots. I re-instructed them to pull the roots up, using a dandelion as an example. They didn’t give me a very appreciative look. I told them that if they don’t pull the roots, they’ll be pulling those same weeds all summer. Another steely glare.
I haven’t told them that we might go to the movies tonight. They can wait and be surprised by that reward. Meanwhile, this weekend the hot tub must be scoured and sanitized, and the carpets and floor mats in the car must be cleaned. I’m sure they’ll rejoice over that. Next week they’ll get to steam clean the upholstered chairs and sofas. And the downstairs carpets. And maybe paint a wall or two.
Yes, I am the most wicked of evil step-mothers.
