I ought to take a shower. There is more milk than there was before, enough that I leak all over my shirt when LB screams, but still not enough to sustain my goliath of a boy. He’s sporting quite the double chin and an extra roll at the back of his neck, though, so I’m not feeling any worries about him not getting enough to eat. I seem to be producing around 19-20 oz/day now, which would be dandy if I had a 7 or 8 pounder, but he’s over 11 pounds now, so he needs 22-28 oz/day. According to sources. I’m trying to remember to write down how much formula we give him, so I can figure out just how much he’s consuming. So far today he’s had 4 oz of formula. If he wakes up before I finish pumping, then he gets another 2 oz of formula, otherwise he’ll get the good stuff.
The domperidone trial is in full swing now. It came from Vanuatu, since it’s not FDA approved here. Why do I get visions of Olivia Newton John singing Xanadu when I see that name? I ordered a six week supply, to give it a fair shake, plus enough extra to gently taper off. It would be heaven to produce enough milk that I could pump only four times a day. I don’t mind bottle feeding at all, and in fact I find it quite endearing. No, it’s not the same as breast feeding, but I’m not as emotionally tangled up over it as I was the first time through. This time, if he’ll breastfeed, that’s wonderful, and if he won’t, well, it makes me a bit sad, but I’m not devastated over it.
Mostly, when we try, he gets all mad and turns beet red in the face and screams. Nice. But once in a while, when he’s not freaked out and he’s had a little nibble at the bottle, I can put him to the breast and he’ll have a go for a little while. His latch is still not the best, but I’m not pushing it too much. It becomes that beet mad experience, which we could both do without. And this way, even though it’s not the best latch, since we’re not doing this a whole lot, it’s not excruciating like it was in the first days, when he mercilessly chewed my nipples to scabby, bleeding messes. We can both do without that, too.
We’re using the Dr. Brown’s preemie bottles for now. They have the slowest flow nipples I could find. There certainly is a lot of bottle washing going on around here. That’s a mark in favor of breastfeeding. Less bottle washing.
And we’re not going to call it colic, but there occur the off and on late night fits in which the babe cannot be solaced. Well, he can, but he’s so very, very particular, and one’s body must be aligned just so, else his quite capable lungs will be exercised to their fullest. Perhaps there are things that I’m eating that I shouldn’t be eating? Some nights he’s a dream boat. Others, inconsolable.
