the good
My boys are home. Safe and sound in their room. Nighty night, boys. I love you.
the usual crap
I wait around for Gadget to call and let me know what time he’ll be ready with the kids. No call, so I decided to go to Target and pick up the school supplies on BB’s kindergarten list. My BB is going to kindergarten! I can hardly fathom it! I figured I’d be a few miles down the road in the general direction I need to be. So Gadget calls around 8 pm and asks where I am, why am I not at the park and ride. When I get there, he has the nerve to get on my case for not packing enough clothes for the boys, and for not packing baby wipes for LB. Last time he complained that I didn’t provide enough diapers. Am I way off here, or isn’t it remotely the least bit feasible and reasonable that their dad should be at least a tiny bit compelled to keep a few diapers and baby wipes and a spare change of clothes on hand for his own kids? And he dares to criticize me for this? The man who balks and rages that I’ve gone to the state to ensure that he pays one hundred and fifty stinking dollars a month to support his two sons? Have I mentioned (I’m sure I have) that that contribution constitutes a whopping 2.5 days of daycare a month. It makes me utterly sick to my stomach that he dare make jabs about the expense of anything, while concurrently insinuating that I’m lacking as a parent.
Or maybe I read too much into things. The man knows how to push my buttons.
The suppressing of those emotions, so that my kids don’t hear it in my voice or see it in my face, nearly made me wretch during the ride home.
on a side note
The new kids were in the car, waiting, so I got to meet the four of them. They are beautiful. The baby is so squeezable, I just wanted to hold her and cuddle her. What can I say. I love kids. There are three girls and one boy, all under 7. Their dad shaved their heads because they had lice. The girls were devastated, as they would be, but they are very beautiful, even with almost no hair. Beautiful. One girl asked me “Why did you break up?” It’s so heart wrenching, how they try to work things out, these little ones. My BB said he wished we didn’t break up and he wants to live with Daddy, but he wants to live with me and Nicole and all the kids. Oy. Explain how that’s not the way things work to a five year old.
LB has a scab with a bruise on his forehead that wasn’t there yesterday when I dropped him off. Gadget insists it was. I spiked his hair before he left. I know it wasn’t there. Today he’s got scrapes all over his elbow and hand. Of course he falls. He’s a toddler. But please, keep an eye on him, and tell me what happened so I know how he got hurt.
I’m glad Gadget met Nicole and has a family life to live. I hope they all work out. I hope they raise those children well. I just wish he’d be more of a man and a father where his own children are concerned.
thanks, I feel better now
Whatever would I do if I couldn’t throw my thoughts out on my blog? I’d either implode or explode. Either way, it wouldn’t be pretty.
