I’ve been thinking about being born again, and what it’s like, in order to somehow describe it, and came to see it as a moment of complete surrender. A holy conviction. In that surrender of your heart, you open it and find yourself in a river of golden light, and at that moment you understand you are one with The Everything and that you, your heart, is safe. It is like a switch in your innermost awareness and consciousness. From that moment you know. You know that you know that you know that you know. You’ve literally seen the light, been in the light, been the light. You are transformed. Born again. You’ve been given your holy conviction. As I write these thoughts, I see an image like Tinkerbell or the Fairy Godmother, and a twinkling flash from the tip of her wand as the gift is bestowed.
We are given that spark in many different ways. To some, through meditation. To some, through music. To some, through nature. To some, through numbers. To some, though Jesus.
I wonder what happens in that moment. It’s like it’s an orgasm of the soul. Maybe our indigenous DMT is released. It doesn’t just happen though. It required the surrender, and some things had to happen in order to come to that place of surrender. Spiritual foreplay, if you will.
We wander along a path and encounter various things that leave impact somewhere deep within, and these impacts begin to collect and form and grow. They grow and grow and the pressure and tension mounts and you finally open the sphincter of your heart. It’s that moment when the light floods in. Limitless undying love which shines around you like a million suns. Sweet surrender.
It IS an orgasm of the soul. DMT must somehow be involved. It’s more than oxytocin and endorphins, as with physical orgasms.
I don’t want to reduce spiritual awakening to a matter of chemistry; it’s more an exploration of what happens and why. There are many intermingled layers of happenings, physical and non-physical, and who could possibly understand it all, or how could it even be understood? The fact remains that something does happen. A transformation takes place. You are changed.
For me, I call it a holy conviction. My holy conviction. I doubt that I could articulate what I believe; it’s more a knowing, and I can’t even articulate that. It’s real, though. My holy conviction is seared in my heart, shake-able, but unbreakable.
